Crazy God of Ouran
by Enigmaticrose4
Summary: So Ouran apparently has it's own god now and this god is crazy.  Which just makes the crazy stuff that goes on there crazier.  Rated mature because well, it just seemed best.
1. Twincest

Hey! Guess what? I don't own any of the characters! Wow! Isn't that amazing?

* * *

So I'm the Crazy God of Ouran. I so totally like to watch everything that goes on here! Then I go and make it crazier!

Like look! There's Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin sneaking up on Tamaki Suoh! Oooo! Now Tamaki is chasing them around the room! Wow does he not like to be scared! There's Kyoya typing away on his Pineapple computer…Hey! Wait a second! PINEapple computer? That doesn't even make sense! Why didn't they just make it an APPLE computer? I'm sure Apple would've paid them for product placement. Whatever.

Oooo! Shiny fountain! Hey! That statue is peeing in the fountain! I don't think I can make that crazier…even if I tried!

There are those twins again! Wow they are so HOT. I wonder if I could make them kiss for some reason? Oh, I know how. Let me just implant the ideas…there we go!

Now watch! There goes Tamaki. He's getting his revenge on the twins. Yes! He's dared them to French kiss each other. Will they do it? Yes they will! Wow! That is so HOT! I think it's getting rather warm in here, don't you?

Well, whatever. Go away, I'm going to put this on rewind and watch it over and over again. Come back tomorrow and I'll show you more crazy stuff at Ouran created by the Crazy God of Ouran!

* * *

**Author's Note:** Have fun! That's the name of the game! Also, that pineapple and peeing statue have been bothering me since I first saw them. Okay, so I love Ouran (Read my other stuff if you couldn't tell) and now I'm making fun of it for fun!


	2. Boys as Girls

Hey! Guess what? I don't own any of the characters! Wow! Isn't that amazing?

* * *

So I'm the Crazy God of Ouran. I so totally like to watch everything that goes on here! Then I go and make it crazier!

Hey look! That boy, wait, no, girl, no, boy, what the hell is that person? I know that it's name is Haruhi Fujioka. But are they a boy or girl? Oh I know! I'll make it be time for the physical examination and then I'll find out!

Ew, that is one UGLY doctor. What's he doing here among all my pretty worshipers? Ew, go away, get out of here you little bug. Only pretty people are allowed in MY academy!

Look! Haruhi's taking off the shirt! Lookie! Haruhi is a GIRL! Cool! So I have a crossdresser among my worshipers! That is so HOT. All I need now is a guy dressing as a girl! Wait…why are my pretty Host Club boys in dresses! Haruhi wouldn't leave us! She's too pretty to go to Lobelia! They only want girly girls and mannish girls. Haruhi is neither so she's ours! Ours do you hear!

See? She just said she wasn't going to leave. So why did you boys embarrass yourselves and wear those girly outfits?

Wait a minute….

You wore them because I wanted you to! I forgot about that! Go away, I'm going to put this on rewind and watch it over and over again. Come back tomorrow and I'll show you more crazy stuff at Ouran created by the Crazy God of Ouran!

* * *

**Author's Note: **BOO!


	3. Cute Porn

Hey! Guess what? I don't own any of the characters! Wow! Isn't that amazing?

* * *

So I'm the Crazy God of Ouran. I so totally like to watch everything that goes on here! Then I go and make it crazier!

Oh look! A little cute blonde guy is riding on a big silent guy's shoulders! Isn't that so cute? Now, if I can only remember who they are…. Oh ya! The blonde is Mitsukuni Haninozuka and the tall silent one is Takashi Morinozuka.

They are so sweet! Aw look! Mitsukuni is eating cake! Wow that's a lot of cake? How can someone so small eat so much cake? Weird!

Lookie! Now Mitsukuni is having a nap! Awww, he's so cute! I could just eat him up! Oh look! Takashi is cradling him! Awww! It's cute porn!

Wait….porn? There can't be porn here! This is Ouran! I have high standards! Wait…what? It's not porn? They're just cousins showing affection? Ok! That's cool then.

Go away, I'm going to put this on rewind and watch it over and over again. Come back tomorrow and I'll show you more crazy stuff at Ouran created by the Crazy God of Ouran!

* * *

**Author's Note: **MOO! It's a cow, it's a bird, NO! It's a flying cow! Ew! Why did it just do that on my CAR? It can't do that! Gaston! Shoot it down! No! Now you made it LAND on my car!


	4. Sports Festival

Hey! Guess what? I don't own any of the characters! Wow! Isn't that amazing?

* * *

So I'm the Crazy God of Ouran. I so totally like to watch everything that goes on here! Then I go and make it crazier!

Hey! Guess what! We're having the first Sports Festival here at Ouran! It's going to be so cool! I'm sure my favorite people will band together to defeat the slightly less pretty people! Wait a second…why are they splitting up my Host Club! Hey! You can't do that!

Nooo! Wait…they look so hot! There's Kyoya Ohtori standing with Kaoru Hitachiin and Mitsukuni Haninozuka. They look so hotly evil! Oh! And look! The rest of the Host Club will be against them!

Look! It's starting! Wait. Why are they eating bread? That is so WEIRD. Oh well, it's only beautiful people doing that.

Look! Tamaki Suoh is giving a moving speech! Wow! He sounds so SMART, maybe he really is a beautiful genius…

Now they're running! Look at their legs move and their bodies twist…wowza!

Go away, I'm going to put this on rewind and watch it over and over again. Come back tomorrow and I'll show you more crazy stuff at Ouran created by the Crazy God of Ouran!

* * *

**Author's Note:** So, if I gave you a loaf of bread from Munich, Germany and a loaf of bread from Paris, France, could you tell the difference?


	5. So Sleepy

Hey! Guess what? I don't own any of the characters! Wow! Isn't that amazing?

* * *

So I'm the Crazy God of Ouran. I so totally like to watch everything that goes on here! Then I go and make it crazier!

Sleep! Sleep! We all need sleep! Like the tall one over there! Takashi Morinozuka is so sleepy he's about to make an idiot of himself! Yay!

There he goes! Watch closely! There! He's approaching Haruhi Fujioka! Now he is… Yay! He's kissing her! I hope people are watching! I know so many people want to see them kiss. And look! There's all the Host Club clients watching!

Hey! One just fainted! Hehe! Aw, here comes Mitsukuni Haninozuka, he's going to ruin my fun…I know how I'll stop him!

Random Banana Peel Power!

Damnit! He tumbled neatly through the air! Why did he have to be a martial artist! Now he's pulling Takashi Morinozuka off of Haruhi Fujioka! Aww… They were so cute! Haruhi Fujioka was even kissing him back!

Bad Mitsukuni Haninozuka! Bad! Don't do that! Aww… Now he's sleeping on the couch and Haruhi Fujioka is just standing there in shock.

C'mon girl! You know he's hot! Go get him! Damnit! She's not going to! Damnit, now all I can do is replay that magnificent kiss…

Go away, I'm going to put this on rewind and watch it over and over again. Come back tomorrow and I'll show you more crazy stuff at Ouran created by the Crazy God of Ouran!

* * *

**Author's Note:** Yay! Funness! I always liked the scene where Mori was so sleepy.


	6. Shades

Hey! Guess what? I don't own any of the characters! Wow! Isn't that amazing?

* * *

So I'm the Crazy God of Ouran. I so totally like to watch everything that goes on here! Then I go and make it crazier!

It's Halloween! WEEEE! I'm a ghost! Boo!

Hah! Gotja! O! Lookie! There are people sneaking around Ouran! What are they doing! I know! They're exploring!

Wait! No they're not….They're trying to scare people! I wanna help! Let me help! Hmmm…how can I help?

Awww, Hikaru Hitachiin is caught in a net with Haruhi Fujioka, that's so cute! Will they kiss? C'mon kiss damn you! Argh! No kiss! Hikaru Hitachiin just ran off to rescue Kaoru Hitachiin. Meh, whatever. I'll get them later.

Lookie! There's the Black Magic Club with a giant Belthezar! Aw, look! Everyone's afraid of it!

Hey! Wait a minute! They're scaring my Host Club! Let's just see who's so scary!

Haha! They scream like little girls! Who knew that an image of Kyoya Ohtori with shades and two pistols aimed at your head was so scary? Hehe, Umehito Nekozawa isn't so scary when his wig falls off and he's running away.

That's what you get for scaring my beautiful Host Club! Run little girl! Run!

Hehe, I think I want to see that again…Kyoya Ohtori in shades with some guns is HOT! Also, Umehito Nekozawa running away isn't so bad either. He's got a nice rear.

Go away, I'm going to put this on rewind and watch it over and over again. Come back tomorrow and I'll show you more crazy stuff at Ouran created by the Crazy God of Ouran!

* * *

**Author's Note:** Well, I wrote this because nicluvly asked how fast I can write because she had 25 minutes left at work. I think I wrote this in less than ten minutes...mwhahaha I didn't even have it planned out either...also, there is no alcohol in my system this time, I swear!

Enjoy! Read! Review!


	7. Love Door

Hey! Guess what? I don't own any of the characters! Wow! Isn't that amazing?

* * *

So I'm the Crazy God of Ouran. I so totally like to watch everything that goes on here! Then I go and make it crazier!

Weeee! This is fun! But so sad!

Haruhi Fujioka is leaving me! *sob*

She's deserting Ouran for some nameless school in Boston. What the -! That just ain't right! Yeh here?

But look! She's going to live right next to Tamaki Suoh!

Ooooooo!

They have a love door!

That's so naughty!

I think I'm going to go imagine what they're going to do with that...ooooo shivers down the spine! mwhahahaha!

Lookie! They're kissing! I wonder what else they're going to do...

Hey! Wait a second!

What's everyone else doing here!

Go away!

I wanna watch Haruhi Fujioka and Tamaki Suoh!

Wahhhh!

Now I have to resort to my tried and true method...that's horrible!

Well, whatever. Go away, I'm going to put this on rewind and watch it over and over again. Come back tomorrow and I'll show you more crazy stuff at Ouran created by the Crazy God of Ouran!

* * *

**Author's Note:** So, yes, I'm crazy. I freely admit it! lol jk!

I'm still nervous about sending my original story out. Though technically all I've sent are queries and summaries. I hope someone likes it well enough to ask for the full manuscript. My biggest dream atm is to get my book published. My second is to get married to my sweetheart. I need to stop watching tlc...I start thinking about marriage when I do...stupid say yes to the dress and stupid four weddings...

Oh well...

Enjoy the Crazy God of Ouran and lend me your thoughts on it! I absolutly adore reviews and respond to every single one, just ask cjnicole or nicluvly, they review almost everything I write so they can vouch me, I swear! Don't believe me? Ask them! They're also really good writers btw. Oh, so is Lovers Revenge - she's also a nicole. So all three Nicoles I know are good writers, isn't that coincidence? :D

Enjoy! Read! Review!


	8. May December Romance

Hey! Guess what? I don't own any of the characters! Wow! Isn't that amazing?

* * *

So I'm the Crazy God of Ouran. I so totally like to watch everything that goes on here! Then I go and make it crazier!

I'm bored!

What should I do!

I know!

Mwhahahaha!

Come here Yoshio! Come to Ouran! Worship at my feet once again!

Yes! That's right!

Oh yes!

Now! Go in the pantry!

Good!

Hide behind the door!

Very good!

Here she comes…..

Go!

Jump on her!

Kiss her!

You're a much better choice than Kyoya!

May, December romances rock!

Yay! Haruhi is speechless!

Oooooo!

The clothes are coming off!

You better lock the door!

Wait, is this right?

Who cares!

Wow!

Look at them go!

Gold medal for them!

Now go home Yoshio, I'm done with you!

That was amazing!

I'm feeling bad about it though….

Well, whatever. Go away, I'm going to put this on rewind and watch it over and over again. Come back tomorrow and I'll show you more crazy stuff at Ouran created by the Crazy God of Ouran!

* * *

**Author's Note: **At the request of nicluvly and in honor of her interest in Hermione/Snape stories, here is Yoshio and Haruhi!

Enjoy! Read! Review!


	9. Stormtrooper Dudes

Hey! Guess what? I don't own any of the characters! Wow! Isn't that amazing?

* * *

So I'm the Crazy God of Ouran. I so totally like to watch everything that goes on here! Then I go and make it crazier!

Hey! What are those dudes doing in my parking garage!

Get out!

Someone get them out!

They're making my tummy hurt!

Wait, do I have a tummy?

I know!

The parking garage is my tummy!

Stormtrooper dudes get out!

They need to rescue my prince!

Yay!

It's Mitsukuni Haninozuka and Takashi Morinozuka!

Go on!

Get them!

Yay!

Oooooo!

Mitsukuni Haninozuka looks so angry!

Crush those stormtrooper dudes!

Hooray!

He just smashed that dude's face in!

Go Mitsukuni Haninozuka!

Save your prince!

Wait he's my prince!

Not yours!

Oh!

Look at the pile of bodies!

I wonder if the stormtrooper dudes are dead?

Whatever!

Mitsukuni Haninozuka is my knight!

He saved my tummy!

I wonder if I can watch him do that again?

He was so CUTE!

And Takashi Morinozuka was so HOT!

Did you like it?

Well, whatever. Go away, I'm going to put this on rewind and watch it over and over again. Come back tomorrow and I'll show you more crazy stuff at Ouran created by the Crazy God of Ouran!

* * *

**Author's Note:** Weeeeeeeeeeeee! Anime ending rocks!


	10. Tripping

Hey! Guess what? I don't own any of the characters! Wow! Isn't that amazing?

* * *

So I'm the Crazy God of Ouran. I so totally like to watch everything that goes on here! Then I go and make it crazier!

They're riding horsies!

Yay!

Wait….

When did I get horsies?

Oh well!

Who cares!

There goes Tamaki Suoh!

Awwww!

He's skipping like a little kid!

Oh no!

Watch out Tamaki Suoh!

That's a tree root!

Nooooooo!

He tripped and ate shit!

Poor Tamaki Suoh!

But wait!

That was so dirty!

I'm excited!

Is that wrong?

Well, whatever. Go away, I'm going to put this on rewind and watch it over and over again. Come back tomorrow and I'll show you more crazy stuff at Ouran created by the Crazy God of Ouran!

* * *

**Author's Note:** Nicluvly told me to write this, I swear! I don't like this sorta stuff! I swear! Her text told me to do this!


	11. Dress Up

Hey! Guess what? I don't own any of the characters! Wow! Isn't that amazing?

* * *

So I'm the Crazy God of Ouran. I so totally like to watch everything that goes on here! Then I go and make it crazier!

Let's play dress up!

Everyone, in pretty ballgowns now!

No arguing!

Yes, even you Kyoya!

Awwww!

You look so pretty!

Look at Haruhi Fujioka!

She's so cute!

Go Haruhi Fujioka, go and make tea for everyone!

She pours tea so prettily!

Wait….

Is that makeup on her face?

Haruhi Fujioka!

Why are you in makeup?

Don't give me that look!

Answer me!

Oh, you just wanted to be girly?

That's ok, I guess.

Can you make out with the twins while you're being so girly?

I swear it will make you more girly!

How dare you accuse me of lying!

Shame on you!

Now go make out with them!

O-la-la!

Go away, I'm going to put this on rewind and watch it over and over again. Come back tomorrow and I'll show you more crazy stuff at Ouran created by the Crazy God of Ouran!

* * *

**Author's Note:** Haruhi is girly and making out with the twins! Yay!


	12. Crybaby

Hey! Guess what? I don't own any of the characters! Wow! Isn't that amazing?

* * *

So I'm the Crazy God of Ouran. I so totally like to watch everything that goes on here! Then I go and make it crazier!

Ooooooo…..

Look!

Tamaki Suoh is crying!

That's so sad!

But not really.

He's crying because the painting there on the wall is so beautiful.

Oh and because Ranka just called and threatened him again.

Hehe.

Here come the twins!

Hehe, they're calling Tamaki Suoh a crybaby!

Wait a second…

Only I can call Tamaki Suoh names!

Bad twins!

Spanking time for you!

One!

Stop crying!

Two!

Shut up or I'll start over!

Three!

Ooooo….it's pink!

Four!

Squirm little ones, squirm!

Five!

Is it warm in here?

Go away, I'm going to put this on rewind and watch it over and over again. Come back tomorrow and I'll show you more crazy stuff at Ouran created by the Crazy God of Ouran!

* * *

**Author's Note:** I blame nicluvly! And our attempts to write a crazy crossover between Harry Potter and Ouran!


	13. Sauna

Hey! Guess what? I don't own any of the characters! Wow! Isn't that amazing?

* * *

So I'm the Crazy God of Ouran. I so totally like to watch everything that goes on here! Then I go and make it crazier!

Awwww!

Poor new girl!

She's a transfer student from the states and yet she's about to fail! She has to pass this test or she'll fail!

I don't want her to leave!

Wahhhhhh!

Wait!

I know!

Haruhi Fujioka!

Come rescue Nicci Trubobicofunni!

She needs you!

Yay!

Haruhi Fujioka rescued her!

She's going to stay!

I'm so glad she studied so hard!

Now…what can I do to make her really happy?

Hmm….

I know!

Hikaru Hitachiin, Kaoru Hitachiin, front and center!

Good, now, I want you to have a good time with someone.

Got it?

You do?

Good!

Now, get in the sauna!

Now…to get Nicci Trubobicofunni in there also…

I know!

Hah!

I picked her up lick you pluck a flower.

There you are little Nicci Trubobicofunni!

Now, the door is locked!

I'll come back when you're all relaxed and satisfied!

Mwhahahahaha!

OOOOOOO!

They are DEFINENTLY relaxing!

I'm so glad I'm videotaping this!

A threesome, with twins….

OMG!

Did they just do that!

Is that even physically possible!

I think I need to be alone now….

Go away, I'm going to put this on rewind and watch it over and over again. Come back tomorrow and I'll show you more crazy stuff at Ouran created by the Crazy God of Ouran!

* * *

**Author's Note:** So, Nicci is not an author avatar, but she is an avatar for someone else... mwhahahahahahaha I hope this cheers you up! :D


	14. Karaoke

Hey! Guess what? I don't own any of the characters! Wow! Isn't that amazing?

* * *

So I'm the Crazy God of Ouran. I so totally like to watch everything that goes on here! Then I go and make it crazier!

Let's have a karaoke party!

Hmmm, who do I want to sing what?

OH! I KNOW!

Mitsukuni Haninozuka! You shall sing Poker Face!

No! Don't argue! Get over there!

Hehe! I love it!

Your turn Takashi Morinozuka!

You shall sing Oops I did it Again!

Good! You know not to argue, now, sing!

Kaoru Hitachiin! Sing Hit me Baby, One more Time!

Wowza! Look at his hips go!

Hikaru Hitachiin you shall sing All-American Girl!

Hehe, that's so funny! He's a natural!

Kyoya Ohtori you shall sing 1985!

Come on! You can do it!

Yay!

Now, Tamaki Suoh, I want you to sing What a Girl Wants!

C'mon! You know you want to!

Oh, Tamaki Suoh, you're such a good singer!

Haruhi Fujioka! I have the PERFECT song for you!

You shall sing I Kissed a Girl!

What? You'd think I'd forget about you kissing a girl?

Well, I didn't!

Now sing!

Awesome, they were all so awesome!

It's getting warm in here again….

Go away, I'm going to put this on rewind and watch it over and over again. Come back tomorrow and I'll show you more crazy stuff at Ouran created by the Crazy God of Ouran!

* * *

**Author's Note:** Sorry for the long wait, life's been busy. This idea was courtesy of...well, dangit, I forgot her name. Well, just remember that I didn't come up with the singing idea, though I did pick out the songs (with the help of my sis).

Enjoy! Read! Review!


	15. Three's Company

Hey! Guess what? I don't own any of the characters! Wow! Isn't that amazing?

* * *

So I'm the Crazy God of Ouran. I so totally like to watch everything that goes on here! Then I go and make it crazier

Monkeys and punks make a punch in cunk! Or something like that. I don't know, I'm bored, oh, and crazy.

So, what should I do now? It's been a long time since I did something naughty.

I know!

How about we play three's company!

Hmm….who should our three be?

The twins and Haruhi?

Hunny, Mori, and Haruhi?

Tamaki, Kyoya, and Haruhi?

I KNOW!

How about all three!

OOOOO!

The twins are slipping in and around Haruhi!

OH MY GOD!

Did they just do that?

Yes they did!

She's riding double!

I want to be a twin sandwich!

This isn't fair!

Okay, how about we make her with Hunny and Mori?

Oh, help, save me now!

Hunny's eating cake off her and she's wrapped in Mori's tight embrace!

Why can't I be human? Why am I stuck as a god?

THIS ISN'T FAIR!

Life hates me!

Oh!

No you don't!

You aren't getting away Haruhi!

I want you to play nice with the mother and father of the Host Club!

OOOOoooo!

That's right!

Lick Daddy, make him happy!

Ew! Wait! That sounds wrong!

Let me rephrase that!

Keep doing that to Tamaki!

Now, open wide!

Here comes Kyoya!

And, oh boy, does he come!

Wooza!

Go away, I'm going to put this on rewind and watch it over and over again. Come back tomorrow and I'll show you more crazy stuff at Ouran created by the Crazy God of Ouran!

* * *

**Author's Note:** So, um, it's been awhile...

I guess this is what happens when I drink most of a bottle of wine that my bf gave me for graduation that he doesn't realize I drank so much of and because of that is watching Fringe instead of noticing me...

I suppose that's payback for me playing Sims Medieval for quite a few hours this week...

Life is fun!

Now, go have your own fun!

:)

Oh, and go read RM if you haven't, I swear you'll like it! :D

And a random shout out to nicluvly, cuz I think I need to mention her in every one of these AN's!

Oh! My sister graduates from high school next week, yay!

Enjoy! Read! Review!


	16. Hormonal Monkeys

Hey! Guess what? I don't own any of the characters! Wow! Isn't that amazing?

* * *

So I'm the Crazy God of Ouran. I so totally like to watch everything that goes on here! Then I go and make it crazier

Monkeys!

Yes! That's what I love!

Monkeys!

They shall invade the school!

Hmm…

But, wait?

How are monkeys different from students?

They aren't, are they?

Well, I guess that means I have to do something to make them different….

Or….

I can do something to make them the same…

How about….same!

Yes, that's it!

The monkeys will be nothing but crazy balls of hormones!

They'll fall in and out of love faster than Tamaki can sprout roses from his hands!

That's it!

Monkey love!

Woah…

Look at those monkeys go!

Oooo, that one seems to have fallen for Hunny…

Oh, I like this…

This is interesting….

Is that even physically possible?

Why did I ask that?

I don't really care, it's fascinating…

Now, go away, I'm going to put this on rewind and watch it over and over again. Come back tomorrow and I'll show you more crazy stuff at Ouran created by the Crazy God of Ouran!

* * *

**Author's Note:** I know, it's been awhile. But I was sitting here drink makgoli with my boyfriend and suddenly got the urge to write one of these, so, here it is, in all it's crazy glory!


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